My mother gave me an amazing gift on Saturday… the gift of acknowledgment. Acknowledgment that maybe there’s something to this woo woo stuff after all.
I first started down the woo woo path of a seeker almost 25 years ago. At that time, my family was so concerned that I had gone off the deep end that they wanted my brother to come to Austin to ‘deprogram’ me. Much to their relief, my life took some twists and turns that took me off the path. Temporarily.
Several years ago, I got back on my path of seeking and healing, and this time I kept my mouth shut about it to my family, knowing they don’t understand that my belief system is just different from theirs. It’s not better, or worse, it’s just different. So for several years they just didn’t know what I was doing.
But not being able to talk about a life I’m very passionate about to my family took its toll on me. So, a few years ago I decided to come out of the woo woo closest and tell them about the breathwork and energy work I’m involved in, about my path of spiritual exploration.
First I talked to my mom, told her that I needed to share with her what I was doing. I told her the reason I hadn’t told her before was that I couldn’t handle her judging it or me, that it was really important that she be supportive, not critical and judgmental. She didn’t have to agree with it, or understand it. But I needed her to be open minded about it. And she was. She looked at the books I took her, and didn’t criticize me. And I think for the first time realized that I was probably more of a spiritual being than most of her church friends. But we still didn’t talk about it much. I knew she couldn’t really wrap her head around it, that it was still a little too ‘out there’ for her to understand.
With my sister, the evangelical Christian, everything I told her was met with complete silence. But that was ok. She can judge me all she wants. It was my mom’s understanding and support that I needed. A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned a class I’m taking to my sister and she asked what kind of class it was. When I told her it was energy healing, again the response was complete silence. There wasn’t even the judgmental ‘hmpf’, just silence.
Then, last Saturday, my mom gave me the most incredible gift. She’s in a nursing home and in ill health, and for some time now, I’ve been observing what seems to be a thinner veil between the worlds for the folks in the nursing home. (see the previous blog for more on this) My mom started telling me about dreams and conversations she’s been having with dead family members and relatives. She said that she’ll wake up after having a conversation and think that it was a dream that didn’t feel like a dream, that it felt real, so she doesn’t k now what’s a dream and what’s not a dream. (And from my personal experience, I know it’s not always a dream) And then she said, ‘the only person I can talk to about this that I know will understand, is you.” And we probably had the best conversation that we’ve ever had. A conversation where I could totally 100 percent be me. I told her that I thought the separation between the worlds was lessening for her, and that when she first hurt herself and was in pain, on pain meds and delusional, that the people she saw when she was in that state, she really did see. There’s no doubt in my mind.
The reason I’m sharing all of this, is that so many people I know that are on a similar path have families they can’t talk to about this, have families that flat out refuse to acknowledge it or discuss it. And those family members, if they stay on this plane long enough to experience the thinning of the veil, will someday see that yes, sometimes weirdness is truth.
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